i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize