Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize