I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dicks are not precious.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
