i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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