Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
