I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
