Jerry, you need to find god
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
