No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
