i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
