Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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