Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
