I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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