Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
