She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
