She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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