Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
