He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
