My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This can only be settled by a dance off.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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