jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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