yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
