Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
