Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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