Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
