I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
