I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
