Banned from zoo.
Again?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
