New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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