I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
