No stitches, just platelets and will power
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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