i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
