His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
