We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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