just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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