I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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