two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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