I'm lost and stupid without you.
I love having hate sex.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
