Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
