I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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