I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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