I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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