Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
