i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
