i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize