i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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