I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
