I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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