You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
