Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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