Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
