i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My dick has a subreddit
Floor bacon is actually really good
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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