help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
