I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
