i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
