I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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