Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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