Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you will always have a special place in my vag
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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