as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
