Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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