he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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