Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
how does that bad decision feel?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
