so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize