walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
