I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We left an ass print on the piano.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
