Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
