I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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