I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
