with your own penis?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
